Rapid-Fire Repartee Throw Down

Rapid-Fire Repartee Throw Down

Any SJP fans out there?

We Gen-XYers don’t even pause—hell yeah! The bad dating of my twenties seemed benign compared to the antics of Sarah Jessica Parker and her posse on Sex and The City. When I saw Sarah she had done a “zippy-fun” 5 minute video interview with Vogue answering 73 questions, I was intrigued. 73 questions, in 5 minutes! (No, don’t go google it now! I’ll give you the link at the bottom)

The first time though the video, I was charmed and entertained. The second time, I felt the challenge of rapid-fire repartee calling my name… I wonder how I would answer all those questions?

Drum roll please….

For your snappy reading pleasure, I transcribed the questions and broke them into serial blog posts for the release tour of STOP DRAGON MY HEART AROUND.

Let’s do this thing!

Q1: Favorite Movie?
A: The Italian Job, Thomas Crowne Affair. I love heist movies, bonus points for a happily ever after! The Bourne Identity movies and some of the Bond movies would be right up there too.

Q2: Favorite recent movie?
A: Pitch Perfect. This is my go-to diversion movie, and my kids loved it too! I’m not a repeat movie watcher, but I bet I’ve seen it 5 times!

Q3: Favorite Hitchcock movie?
A: None. I hate scary movies. I can’t even do the movie trailers, like that “Mama” trailer they have out now is the worst! The last scary movie I watched was the Blair Witch Project. OMG. My husband and I took a camping trip afterward, and I was up ALL night, hearing things go bump in the woods.

Q4: Favorite TV show currently on?
A: Orphan Black, close second Blacklist. If you haven’t seen the BBC’s Orphan Black – it is amazing. Tatiana Maslany’s portrays 11 crazy, diverse clones. She won a golden globe and critics choice award and she so deserved it. A great Femme Fatal like show with a hottie love interest. *smiles*

Q5: Book I plan on reading?
A: Night Child, Lisa Kessler Lisa is my imprint sistah and we share a release birthday today. One of my Street Team members told me NC was the perfect story, and the ending made her cry. Ahhh, can’t wait!

Q6: Book read in school that shaped you?
A: Crime and Punishment, by Fyodor Dostoyevsky.
I read C&P when I was 16 year old. I had just left my rural home on a full scholarship to Phillips Exeter Academy. At Exeter, I didn’t fit in. My clothes were wrong. My southern accent branded me a not-very-smart peasant. A boy broke my heart and gave me Mononucleosis. I wasn’t at all prepared for the rigorous academic requirements. I was miserable. I remember looking at a huge snow bank and thinking I could just fall in and go to sleep forever. It was a very bleak and difficult time in my young life.

I was assigned C&P around that time. At first, I had to force myself to stop every few pages a say aloud what had just occurred, otherwise my eyes just drifted over the pages, and I remembered nothing. I was sick, and exhausted, and furious. Soon I started identifying with the morally ambiguous Rodion. I’d always been I bit of a goody-to-shoes at home. Rodion’s schemes and worldview point were delightfully tainted and ultimately mind broadening.

I still keep a Dostoyevsky quote in my Bible: “Above all, don’t lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love.” (BroKar)

Q7: Book you read you never think about?
A: The Odyssey, Homer

Q8: Scale of 1-10 how excited about life are you now?
A: 9. I recently turned 40 years old. I love 40!

Q9: iPhone or Android?
A: Android

Q10: Twitter or Instagram?
A: Twitter, @Susannah_Scott

Q11: Vine or Snapchat?
A: Neither? It just takes a few months to be behind on all the social media changes. I really like FB, Goodreads, Pinterest and Google+. I tried Tumblr and the new MySpace – but I could never find my peeps.

Q12: Who should everyone be following right now?
A: Why, me of course! My titillating FaceBook Page!

Q13: Coolest thing in your home? A: The tile work! web-picture-of-floor-tile

My husband and I just finished building our dream home in July. It isn’t the size that makes it “dream” to us, it’s the intricate details and I knew exactly what I wanted for the tile. So we did it ourselves. Thank goodness my Hub is good at grout clean up. I was more the visionary, he the grunt and clean up work!

 

Q14: Favorite Restaurant?
A: Djangos: Crested Butte, Colorado. An awesome tapas restaurant where every single dish is exquisite and unique.

Q15: Favorite Food?
A: Ethnic I’m a really good cook, but an awful baker. Moroccan Kefta Tagine is easy to make and yummy spicy comfort food.

Q16: Least Favorite Food?
A: Barbeque sauce. Too many curvy Ozark roads and picnics.

Q17: What do you love on your pizza?
A: Not a lot of crust!

Q18: Favorite drink?
A: Single Malt Scotch – not too peaty

Q19: Favorite dessert?
A: Tiramisu I’m a Type 2 diabetic so I have to be really careful about sweets, but I have a hard time resisting tiramisu or crème brulee.

Q20: Dark Chocolate or Milk Chocolate?
A: Milk Chocolate Symphony Bars are/were my favorite

Q21: Weirdest/ickiest thing you’ve ever eaten?
A: Haggis My family is Scottish and my hub and I went to Scotland on our honeymoon. Of course, I had to try the local dish! Ick. Ick. Ick. Even fried in bacon grease—ICK.

Q22: Hardest part about being a mom to 3 boys?
A: Knowing that if I do my job right, they will grow up and replace me with a very special life partner, and likely not call on my birthday. *le sigh* Boys.

Q23: Favorite Band?
A:  NeedtoBreathe

Q24: Favorite Solo Artist?

A: Bruce Springsteen

Q25: Favorite Lyrics?
A: Hard to Get, Rich Mullins.

“You who live in radiance
Hear the prayers of those of us who live in skin
We have a love that’s not as patient as Yours was
Still we do love now and then…

Will those who mourn be left uncomforted
While You’re up there just playing hard to get?”

When my friend Lindsey died, I wrote out the lyrics to this song for weeks, over and over. I wrote them on napkins, boxes, in the dirt. It was both a prayer and meditation. A way for me to cope and work through my grief. Lindsey was the first person my own age whom I loved and lost.

Q26: If your life were a song what would it be?
A: Roar

Q27: If you could duet with anyone, who would it be?
A: Pink! I’m actually a really gifted soprano, but I hate performing. I get stage fright. But, if Pink was beside me, we would rock the house! Love her lyrics and she is such an amazing vocal talent.

Q28: If you could master an instrument, what would it be?
A: Cello

Q29: If you have a tattoo where and what would it be?
A: Foot. If I ever hit the USA or NYT bestseller list, I’m going to get tiny little dragons, a la Dixie Chick style.

Q30: To be or not to be?
A: To Be!

Q31: Glass half-full or half-empty?
A: Half-empty.

Q32: What’s Oprah like in person?
A: I have no idea! I love SJP answer for this one, “human.”

Q33: Dogs or cats?
A: Dogs.
I love cats, but my hub is allergic to them, it is one of the things I had to give up for him.

Q34: Kittens or puppies?
A: puppies.
We’re hoping to get an Anatolian Sheppard this summer to keep our chocolate lab company.

Q35: Dolphins or Koalas?
A: Koalas

Q36: Bird watching or whale watching?
A: Whale watching in Cabo San Lucas Mexico!

Q37: Spirit animal?
A: Owl

Q38: Best gift you’ve received? A: Sculpture flowers, last week!

blurded-boys-and-birthday-flowers

 

I kill plants, but I love them, but I kill them, but I love them… For my birthday my hub and three boys found me these awesome iron sculpture flowers that I can’t kill. I love them AND I can’t kill them!

 

 

 

 

Q39: Last gift you gave a friend?
A: I passed on a book to a girlfriend turning 40. It’s a community book that has changed hands 20+ times, extolling to wonder of the 4th decade. *insert snarky laugh*

Q40: Person you want to have coffee with?
A: Amy S. (call me!)
Amy and her husband run this awesome river resort here in the Ozarks. They work their tails off from May to October and I hardly get to see her. She has the funniest stories about what folks do on the river when they think they’re in the boonies—fall off your seat laughing stories. Plus, she is just a wicked cool chick who totally gets and supports my writing. I have withdrawal when her summer season rolls into high gear.

Q41: Historical figure you want to have coffee with?
A: Stumped, help me out!

Q42: How do you like your coffee?
A: Really STRONG with real whipping cream. Watery coffee in the morning pisses me off.

Q43: Favorite curse word?
A: Piss. See above.

Q44: Favorite board game?
A: Life
Around Christmas, we were visiting churches and the pastor challenged the congregation to have an electronics free evening with their family. No TV, computers, phones, kindles ect. We decided to have a board game night. We happened to pull out LIFE. What an amazing game for stimulating conversation about having babies, and going to college, and differences in earnings, and buying houses, and debt. Awesome. Such a meaningful evening. We’ve done it several more times since.

Q45: Favorite country to visit?
A: Greece SJP and I agree on this one! Specifically, Crete and the other islands. Magical.

Q46: Country you wish to visit?
A: Russia, Siberia I’m writing a book now that takes place in Lake Bikal Region. I would go tomorrow if I could!

Q47: What do you see in this Rorschach image?
A: A wolf

rorshach blot

 

 

 

 
Q48: Write a word that starts and ends with the same vowel?
A: Eerie

Q49: How long lived in the Ozarks?
A: 10 years The Ozarks are my home, but I met and married I Texan while I was in school at Rice University in Houston. We decided to move home after our first son was born to be closer to family.

Q50: Favorite season in the Ozarks?
A: Spring

Q51: Favorite Activity in the Ozarks?
A: Kayaking on one of the many gorgeous spring fed rivers

shane boat

Q52: Would you ever leave the Ozarks?
A: We just built our dream home, so no, we love it here.

Q53: 3 words to describe the Ozarks?
A: Seasonal, cagey, and secretive

Q54: Favorite Actor?
A: Mark Wahlberg I almost went with Alexander Skarsgard, but really, I just love him in TruBlood. I am seriously hoping that this next season he and Sookie find their way back to each other. Get out of the way Mr. Hunky Wolf and Mr. Conniving Bill vamp!

Q55: Favorite Actress?
A: Amy Adams Loved her in American Hustle, and just about everything she does. Emma Stone would be a close second.

Q56: Who wore it better? Photo credit: Because I’m Fabulous A: Nicki Minaj who wore it better

Yikes. Blake Lively is usually so effortlessly fabulous, but her jewelry and hose and jacket are all wrong. Honestly, that looks like an outfit I would put together—black matches—right? I’m going to have to go with Nicki. Although, her hair and pose aren’t helping her any, she does look great below the sternum.

Q57: Favorite Constellation?
A: Orion

Q58: Pilates or Yoga?
A: Yoga –I’m actually a lapsed yogini. I’m Baptiste certified and used to teach a power vinyasa class but quit when I started having kids.

Q59: Jogging or swimming?
A: Jogging. Very, very slowly.

Q60: What do you do to decompress?
A: Curl up with my husband, he de stresses me, every time

Q61: What super power would you want?
A: Fly I think this is one of the things that draws me to my dragon-shifters, I just love that they can fly. Somewhat ironically, I’m a fearful airplane flyer—but put me on a dragon and I’d be fearless! I’m sure a therapist could have a heyday with that one!

Mon hop-on-dragon-

Q62: Experience that made you most nervous?
A: Performing I was the worst piano recital kid EVER. I only like performing with groups.

Q63: Strangest word in the English language?
A: bulbous

Q64: Last country you visited?
A: Thailand To close out a sorta family member’s estate. Now that was a book worthy trip! Loved Singapore, what an amazingly modern city. Felt very Paris-ish to me, stylish.

Q65: Favorite color?
A: Orange

Q66: Least favorite color?
A: Purple

Q67: Color of dress you wore to Prom?
A: Metallic blue, with sequins.

Q68: Diamonds or Pearls?
A: Sapphires, I really like deeply colored gems and Tanzanite.

Q69: Cheap or expensive shampoo
A: Expensive. I only wash my hair a few times a week because it is really curly, so I go all out on nice shampoo for cry, curly hair.

Q70: Heals of flats
A: Flats Usually Tevas in the summer and boots in the winter.

Q71: Blow dry or air dry?
A: Air dry I have crazy curly hair and a ton of it. If I tried to blow-dry it straight, it would take an hour every time! I just wash and use Aveda, Just-Curly-Gel and go.

Q73: Favorite Exercise
A: Crossfit, the Filthy 50 WOD
My husband and I have been doing crossfit for several years now. Here is the notorious filthy fifty workout: For time: 50 Box jump, 24 inch box 50 Jumping pull-ups 50 Kettlebell swings, 1 pood Walking Lunge, 50 steps 50 Knees to elbows 50 Push press, 45 pounds 50 Back extensions 50 Wall ball shots, 20 pound ball 50 Burpees 50 Double unders

*Bonus Questions*

Q74: Brothers or Sisters?
A: Both! 2 brothers and 2 sisters. We are all very close.

10325654_10102205987345630_6773166389482035538_n

Q76: Ethic background
A: Scottish, Irish, French

Q77: Favorite writing spot?
A: Walking treadmill. Love it, I walk 2 miles every morning at a very slow 1.8 mph pace while I’m writing.

Ta Daaa!

How about you? I challenge you to pick 1 question from above and answer it in the comments.

You know you want to try, and I love to hear!

All my best,

Susannah Scott

PS> Here is the SJP Vogue Interview I promised!

Swap Meet Profoundary

Swap Meet Profoundary

Re Blogged from Fresh Fiction

***
Here in the Ozarks we’re a “little bit country and a little bit rock and roll”— as in 1980’s big hair band ‘rock and roll’. We get our big screen movies 4 months after the rest of the country and by golly we like to grow our own food.

For a small percentage of our rural population, this is a super-secret effort to thwart the coming end-of-the-world looters. But, those are mostly folks from Cal-i-forn-ia, who’ve moved in and think we don’t know what they’re up to with their solar water heaters and green houses.

Please. We don’t need to loot their grub, we’ve got our own!

Starting in March, most Saturday’s you can find Swap Meets to populate your food growing enterprise. Swap Meets are a visually arresting sight: Caged chickens, guineas, turkeys, ducks, rabbits, beagle dogs, goats, sheep, and a random used bicycle or sewing machine sit on the side of a curvy Ozark road. Some swap meets are high-class and have their own King John porta potty.

Snazzy stuff.

After spending a Saturday installing our $600 chicken coop, my husband and 3 young boys headed out to find some egg laying chickens. Even though we were late in the day, the first swap meet we pulled into had 5 brown chickens left. They were seriously mangy looking and mean, attacking each other in the pen. A few were missing eyes. They looked like they had run all the way from Arkansas just ahead of a ravaging coyote.

“Maybe we should wait,” I started to the boys.

“No, no, no,” they chorused. “These are the ones! Look at that one…we can call her ‘One-Eye.’ And look how that one jumps so high, she is ‘LaBrown James’… And that one they’re beating on, is… No-Fight.”

“These here chickens are only one year old and the best egg layers in the Ozarks.” The seller told us. “And I don’t just go to the hatchery and buy old, tired-out chickens like everyone else.” He gave us a look of disgust, and all three of my boys nodded their heads, clearly understanding that this was no ordinary swap meet seller—this one was honest.

“How much for 3?” My husband asked.

“All give you all 5 for $10 bucks a piece,” Seller said. “That’s is a real deal. I had 50 of these just this morning and they were gone my 8 am.”

It was 3 pm, but hey, maybe there really was an early morning rush on chickens.

“They’ve all been disease and mite checked,” Seller continued. Just give them a few weeks to settle and you’ll have 20 eggs a day.”

Sold. $50 bucks.

But wait… The young couple a few stalls down had baby chicks. The small pen full of chicks was chorusing with alarmed cheeps at the poking from my boys. “Mom, mom, mom,” my boys were enthralled. “Baby chicks!” we can hug them and love them and name them “Night, Cereal, Peeper, Snow, and Loudy.”

The chicks looked like baby swallows to me, or maybe a grackle, or field lark. “Do they lay eggs?” I asked.

DUMB, DUMB question. I should’ve asked: “Do they lay eggs that the average human, who’s used to supermarket eggs, would want to eat.”

“Oh yes, mam” Young seller said. “When these here hens get grown, they will be some of the best egg layers in the Ozarks. They’re genuine registered Blah-Blah-Golden Chick They’ve all been sexed too, no roosters, every one of ‘em is a hen.”

At this point, the entire cage went silent, the chicks heads fell to their wings and their eyes closed. “They’re sleeping,” Young seller explained.

“Please, please dad.” My boys begged. “Did you see how their sleeping. They’re so C-U-T-E!”

“How much are they?” I asked, accepting that we were also buying some genuine-registered-possibly-rooster-field-lark-narcoleptic chicks.

“Two buck a piece and I’ll throw in some chick starter feed.”

“Alright.” My husband shook his head and the boys started cheering.

As we were leaving, the young seller came running up to the window, like we had forgotten something. “Now you folks know the chicks will have to be indoors for several weeks…

Fast forward several weeks.

Our chicken enterprise is -$660.00 dollars in the hole. We’ve no eggs in sight, and we’ve had 4 causalities. No-Fight and One-Eye fell over dead in the yard for no apparent reason. With a big thanks to the Poultry Gods, Snow and Peeper chicks were discovered dead by the boys right before the school bus. Early medical examiner results indicated that they were trampled by their uber-smart siblings.

Unfortunately, though I wish for their cheeping demise daily, LaBrown James and the rest of the chicks continue to peep, day and night, in a sectioned part of our bearded dragon cage. I’ve included a picture for your viewing pleasure.

dragon guarding hen house

All my best,

Susannah Scott

Belonging

Belonging

Re Blogged from All Things Urban Fantasy

Don’t we all want to belong?

Writing about Tee, my Native American heroine, in my new release gave me such a wonderful opportunity to write about belonging—what it means to belong to a partner, a tribe, and ultimately oneself. The growth progression I’ve listed is reversed for Tee. She has to learn self-love and acceptance before can be a partner to Leo and feel like she belongs to her tribe.

I don’t belong to a Native American tribe. In fact, I am a Scotch-Irish white woman with a side on French Creole. But, when I conceived Tee in my mind, I knew I wanted her to be part of the Southern Paiute tribe outside Las Vegas. I also wanted her to be strong and capable; a kick-ass modern woman, who’d overcome and excelled professionally as a casino hostess at the Crown Jewel.

However, when I started my research into Tee’s Native American culture I was frustrated to find very few resources. How could vamps and werewolves and dragonshifters abound in modern stories, but not many Native Americans?

I did what I could, I watched YouTube videos and ordered every Paiute book I could find. You know that middle of no-where spot in the dessert everyone wants to dump nuclear waste? Yep, that is Yucca Mountain, a sacred spot for both the Southern Paiute and Western Shoshone. Another modern struggle is the alleged air pollution caused by a nearby coal-fired power plant.

All the history and modern issues were good-to-know, but they didn’t tell me much about the culture. Luckily, I found a class about Native American culture online and begged my wonderful instructor to serve as a factual editor for me. Thank goodness, she-who-actually-belonged was willing to help me portray Tee’s culture both accurately, and I hope sensitively.

Here are few paragraphs from Stop Dragon My Heart Around that set up the powwow:

You didn’t have to be a part of the Paiute tribe to know the dark tank of water and the eroded sandstone cliffs surrounding it were special. The place had an ancient feel, as if the desert eased its exhalations in and out over the pool. The very wind calmed itself to avoid disturbing the sacred ground.

Tee squatted to her haunches and leaned over the dark pool, careful to keep her extended hand away from the water. The ancestors believed that when the earth gave up its sea, this small enclave of water remained, providing the tribe with a way to survive in the arid land.

Amazingly, geologic studies of the area and the slight alkalinity of the water supported the ancient tale. There were no fish in the water, no life at all, and her people treated it as the lifeblood of the desert. No one bathed or swam or frolicked in its dark depths.

It was simply too sacred.

***

Don’t you want to go! I do. I hope one day to be invited to a real live powwow instead of just imagining it in my head. I hope you will read Tee and Leo’s story and be swept away by both the fictional and factual elements—and the hot, sexy bits are great too!

All my best,

Susannah Scott

PS> I want to give a shout out to my amazing editorial team at Entangled Publishing. They found an actual Native American model (not easy!) for my cover, when using a dark haired ethnic-neutral woman would have been acceptable. I’m so proud of how they got behind the story and really pushed the envelope to give you a great cover image that honors Tee.

Valentine Gifts of Yesteryear…

Valentine Gifts of Yesteryear…

Reblog from: Chickswagger.com 2-13-2014

Happy Almost Valentine’s Day!

I thought it would be a great time to reminisce about Valentines gifts of yesteryear…

Take last year’ offering from my husband. Now, don’t get all judgey with your significant other if they don’t measure up. My husband has had A LOT a practice–this is our 20+ V-day together after all!

Got your expectations reined in? Great. Prepared to be wowed.

My hubby really dug deep last year to find that one true gift that really said, “I LOVE YOU, and I know exactly what will make your heart flutter.”

Brace yourself.

carmen 51JRENQYDML__SY300_There she is, Carmen Electra in all her late 90′s glory, with a magnificent 5 DVD Aerobic Striptease Box set! I still get tears in my eyes when I remember the moment when he pulled it from the unwrapped Amazon box. *Verklempt*

I’m actually going to dust it off and remove the precious cellophane packaging so I can really share the thoughtfulness of this gift with you. Wowy-wow-wow! Carmen really brings the magic with this collection. 233 minutes of primo stripping and lap-dancing instruction all guaranteed to make ME fit to strip!

Thanks Honey, you shouldn’t have! No really, you should. Not. Have.

Carmen was great, but even her tiny-butt wagging awesomeness can’t compete with my husbands V-day gift from a few years back.

Let me set it up, I had just given birth to my THIRD boy child and I had heard rumors of this thing called a “push gift.” All my big city girlfriends had gotten them from their husbands, in the form of bling-bling, while they were still in Labor and Delivery! What an amazing memorial to the effort of carrying a parasite for 10 months, (You feel me on the 10 months ladies–9 months is such a lie!) and then pushing it through your vajay-jay into the world!

I was certain that the celestial convergence of Valentine’s Day with the uprise in popularity of “push gifts” would guarantee me something sparkly–scratch that–I wanted diamonds, for my ears. Really big ones that a Texan would be proud to wear.

You Ready for his gift? Yep. There it is on the right –>porter cable

It can’t be! A PORTER-CABLE PCL180CDK-2 1/2-Inch 18-Volt Lithium Compact Drill/Driver Kit with 424 in/lbs of torque, 2 Speed Gear Box, and a 22 Position clutch! He even went all out and bought the EXTENDED warranty, just in case I went all This-Old-House on it, and wore it out. Does my man know how to please his little lady or what!? I could go back thorough the V-day gift archives, but I know I’m just heaping salt in your wounds.

So, this year, if you get cut flowers, or potted flowers, or balloons, or chocolate, or an unsigned Texaco card, or nothing at all…

Just remember, you could have gotten a gift that says you should be a lap-dancing stripper, who is able to erect men–and framing walls–in a single bound!

Happy Valentines Day ladies. Go get your sweety-pie a spa-day gift certificate and call it good!

In the comments, please tell me the best OR worst Valentine’s gift you’ve ever gotten?

All my Best,

Susannah Scott

PS> I’m gearing up for the release of my 2nd Vegas Dragon book with a Rafflecopter giveaway.

Enter often and tell your friends!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Wherein the Sh*tty-A$$ Heart Prevails

Wherein the Sh*tty-A$$ Heart Prevails

Reblog from Chickswagger 12-12-12 :

12-12-12Adventure Racing

One year ago today, my 40-year-old husband had a heart attack. (He’s doing fine—I don’t do unhappy endings!) His only symptom at the time was neck pain. He’s a healthy man who does adventure-racing (hillbilly triathlons he calls them–>) and lifts weights, so, he shrugged it off and asked me for more neck massages.

I thought it was a ploy.

The night before 12-12-12, my husband stood up from the couch to stretch, and collapsed to the floor in pain, unable to talk. I called 911. The ambulance arrived just in time for his pain to go away. My parents rushed through the door, white-faced and scared. Our three boys, (9, 7, and 5 y/o) got up from bed, terrified by the lights and sirens. They huddled together, with their blankies around our feet, crying.

After much coaxing, my husband agreed to let me drive him to the hospital. “It’s just a pulled muscle,” he said on the way. “We’re going to be there all night for NOTHING.” It was 30 degree outside. I asked him why he had put on shorts and a tee-shirt. “It’s all I could find, because YOU haven’t done the laundry.” That stung, but I understood that he was embarrassed and angry. What I didn’t know—and wouldn’t understand for weeks—was that he was scared too. Scared, that the fallacy-of-invincibleness that lives in a man’s mind, wasn’t true about him anymore.

At 2 am, the ER doc admitted him to the hospital for observation. My husband was incredulous, but since his cardiac enzymes were mildly elevated, he agreed to stay. When we were alone, he was sulky and pissy. I left and went to my parents’ house and crawled into bed with my children. I snuggled their sleeping bodies close and tried not to think about the future.

My boy and the dog (also male) on the river The boys woke me at dawn, their faces tight with fear and worry. “What happened to Dad?” my oldest asked. “Where’s my Dad?” this from my littlest. My middle one, the quiet one, just looked at me, his lower lip quivering and his eyes tearing up. “What will happen if he dies?” he whispered.

The other two nodded their heads, and I realized we all needed this terrifying question answered. I am proud of what I came up with in that moment. “Well, that is not going to happen,” I said, hugging them close and sounding certain, even to my own ears. “But if it did, we would go on. We would be sad, but we’re strong. I am a strong woman. You are strong boys. We would be alright.”

Thank you Jesus, I never had to find out if it was true.

I was getting ready for the day when my husband called from the hospital. “I’m not feeling so good. Can you come rub my neck?” By the time I got there, they were rushing him into the Cath Lab. He was gray and throwing up. He looked awful, and he couldn’t lift his hand to mine.

“I love you,” I said to the back of the retreating gurney.

Someone led me to the waiting room and I sat down where I could see the clock. I pulled my knees into my chest, feeling small and crushed. You always wonder what to say to people who are lost in their own misery. I can tell you, I heard nothing. My family arrived and surrounded me, but I heard nothing. I watched the clock and replayed over and over how pained he had looked. I berated myself for taking a shower that morning, grabbing extra clothes, having a cry on my Mom.

It was 1.5 hours before the doctor came out and told me he was going to be all right. They’d put in stents because he’d had a 90% block of his Left Anterior Descending Artery—the big one—the widow-maker. Back in the patient room, I was elated. I felt like we had just won the lottery. I needed to talk to friends, family, the whole world. I wanted to celebrate. We had just escaped the widow-maker!

an LAD before stentMy husband was groggy and irritable. The beeping monitoring machines were making him crazy; he even swung an I.V’d arm at one of them. When I called our friends to explain what had happened, he took my phone away from me and hung it up. “Quit telling people I have a shitty-ass heart,” he yelled at me with a hoarse voice.

A shitty-ass heart?

I was shocked. My husband never yells, and never hits things. I was baffled. The next few weeks were rough. While my husband’s physical health was excellent, his mood was resentful and gripey. I had emotional whiplash: the man I would have crawled over molten lava to save, I now wanted to scorch with a fire gun.

I came to realize that I had a “cardiac” event too on 12-12-12: Terror—to elation—to bewildered aggravation, makes for a tough ride on the heart. After much research, I found out that his behavior was not uncommon. In fact, a person is three times more likely to have emotional distress/changes after a cardiac event. It’s a damn shame that just as you’ve “gotten them back,” you want to kick them to the curb.

After a few weeks of this, I had had enough.

“Quit acting like an asshole because you have a shitty-ass heart,” I said.

My husband turned to look at me, a big grin on his face, and we both laughed for the first time since the “event.” Things got better after that. Somehow, when we could laugh about it, it wasn’t so scary or big, for either of us. Thankfully, life went on, with a heightened level of gratitude for our blessings, and for each other.

Then, today I said to him, “I’m going to write a blog about my feelings when you had your heart attack. Okay with you?”

“Sure, fine,” he said. “Wait… It wasn’t a heart attack. It was severe angina that was caught in a clinical setting before it became a heart attack… And don’t use my name.”

Right.

My husband, the nameless man of the shitty-ass heart. An invincible superman in his own mind

Just the way he likes it.

Hug the ones you love–twice today for me. What are you grateful in 2013? What are you looking forward to in 2014?

All my best,

Susannah Scott

PS> More info on “Cardiac Mood Changes” Article 1 , Article 2, Personal Blog from random dude 

 

 

The BANNED Edition–or, In Defense of the “Ideal Man”

The BANNED Edition–or, In Defense of the “Ideal Man”

Reblog from Chickswagger.com 11-12-2013

joy wavesHello Chick-as! Like how I did that, updating the ole Spanish version with some fresh ChickSwagger? I’m new here, so I’m still working on my ‘tude. The gals have promised me lessons, so I’ll  be saucy, swingy, and swaggerific in no time.

I’m rolling out my files of BANNED Facebook promotional pictures today for your viewing pleasure. [Note: I have a viewing FB limit of 18+ years old!] So, turn your screen away from the kiddos, and find a quiet spot to enjoy!

Check out exhibit #1 above. *Le sigh, and le drool* I totally understood when I got the disapproved message from FB, “…your image shows excessive amounts of skin…” Yeah, I know. But, isn’t it the most gorgeous, wet skin you’ve ever seen? And those shoulders… Sometimes, I get it when I get the FB Stop Sign and cyber finger-wagging. Mea culpa. Mea Maxima Culpa.

Other times I’m like, what? Take exhibit #2, on the right–> water shower hotCome on. It is SEXY, very sexy, but the models have MOST of their clothes on. Still, admittedly it’s a little–or a lot–of something. So, okay. Bad Susannah.

But then, the wizard-of-FB Oz approved the posting of beheadings–AND–the same week, shut a user account for the following picture. [Warning: Do not open this link if you have pumpkin and/or baby bottom sensitivities--I'm serious!].  Come on, that is just idiocy at it’s best, and hypocrisy at it’s worst. Bare baby butts vs. beheadings, and the beheadings win?

But the kicker, the thing that started my internal dialogue going, this is so crazy it deserves a blog post, chest cross armwas exhibit #3, on the left here. Go ahead, have a nice stare. See if you can figure out what is offensive about this beautiful, slightly underexposed image. I’ll wait.

Got something yet? No? Read on.

“Your ad wasn’t approved because it violates Facebook’s Guidelines by promoting an idealized physical image.” WHAT? You’ve got to be kidding me? Isn’t that was all ads do, promote “ideal” images? Don’t tell me you walk past a Victoria Secret Angel or David Beckman in underwear everyday? Of course they’re ideal. They get paid beaucoup bucks to be IDEAL!  What is the dirty, sexy world of advertising coming to anyway?

In protest of this awful discrimination against all the ideal men of the world, I looked through my image files for three of the hottest, IDEAL dude pictures I could find. I thought I’d air them out, give them a chance to be appreciated again, here in the non-judgmental world of ChickSwagger.

Which one gets your vote? Let’s show them some appreciation and love!

ideal-men-1-to-3

All my best,

Susannah Scott Website Link Luck of the Dragon, landing page

The Dragon Hunt

The Dragon Hunt

she black dragonFor those of you who might have missed my cautionary tale of how I went off track in the Ozark Hills hunting for and 8 foot dragon sculpture, here are the serial blog stop listings.

Enjoy! Susannah

~DRAGON HUNT, SERIAL BLOG STOPS~

 

A summer day and some R-rated behavior, Harlequin Junkie spotlight post

A summer day and some R-rated behavior, Harlequin Junkie spotlight post

I was honored to be a spotlight guest on the Harlequin Junkie recently. Here is my blog post line, wherein I discuss the summer day and  R-rated behavior that prompted me to write about hot shape-shifting dragons!

Enjoy! Susannah

http://harlequinjunkie.com/spotlight-giveaway-luck-of-the-dragon-by-susannah-scott/#comments